Can’t Talk…Worn Out
The husband got home Sunday night after over a year’s worth of deployment to "the Sandbox".
Now…before you get that impish grin on and start thinking kinky sick thoughts (which, trust me, aren’t thoughts people normally associate with me), I am NOT exhausted because of all the SEX folks.
It’s the snoring.
FUCK that man snores!
I do NOT know what happened but he lays there all night alternately very nearly choking on the back of his own throat and/or blowing air through his lips wihle they sort of PRP open and closed.
GAH!
I try to get 8 hours in every night because I have to watch other people’s children all day. Any good parent would not want to leave their precious kiddie with someone who is either hallucinating from lack of sleep or gone savage due to same. I am on the second night of less than 4 hours of sleep. I am thinking of hiring a hit man…to shoot ME.
How do you tell someone that the little gift they brought back for you from the desert is killing you slowly?
I am DELIGHTED to have him back but this snoring…Oh he used to snore a BIT which I was quite accustomed to but THIS? I lay there as the back of his throat collapses and wait for him to realize (in his sleep) that he is asphyxiating. I know it’s going to happen with a good RIPPING SNKGGGGGGGGKKKGGGGGGGGG but I ALSO know that if it doesn’t I am left collecting insufficient life insurance and living the rest of my life without laughter and great conversation. So I lay there…waiting…to see if he needs CPR or if he is going to suck the PJs off of me finally with a massive indrawn snore.
This is killing me.
One should not have to grit one’s teeth to climb into bed with one’s beloved spouse should one? I mean…he could trade this new skill set in for perhaps a good solid dutch oven each and every night. I’d deal…I’d even pull the covers over my head and really appreciate the flavor and bouquet JUST FOR HIM…but this snoring.
I am going to die from lack fo sleep…
I don’t want sex…I want SLEEP.
How sad is this? He’s home and he’s alive and hale and all I want is sleep LOL.
Keep your eyes on the headlines - I may show up as the chick who microwaves her cell phone and burns down the block.
I’m drugging us both on Friday night LOL.
Will he sleep on his side? If he will, does it help? If so, you might try sewing a tennis ball into the back of his pajamas so that it is uncomfortable enough when he lays on his back that he rolls to his side.
It sounds like he has acute sleep apnea. His doctor may be able to fit him for a CPAP device, which forces enough oxygen to keep the airway open. There are also special dental appliances that can help, or, as a last ditch resort, surgical options. I have no idea of your husband’s weight, but what worked for my husband, who suffers from sleep apnea, is simple weight loss.
LOL…I’m sorry, I know I sound like a medical textbook. In the end, it boils down to just how far you’d like to chase that good night’s sleep (and piece of mind for your husband’s health). A CPAP can be expensive (depending on your insurance coverage), and it’s not for everyone. My husband’s eardrum scarring makes it impossible for him to use one. The dental appliances have to be custom-made, and are very expensive. Surgery can come with a lot of complications.
And no, I’ve never actually tried the tennis ball in the jammies thing with my husband, but I’ve got a very pointy right elbow.
Comment by Jessica — February 7, 2007 @ 11:39 pm